The Law of Balance

The Law of Balance is simply a statement for conserving personal energy and achieving the greatest proficiency. One's energy or power level must be kept on an even keel, too much or too little will kill oneself. This energy level is best maintained by avoiding extremes in thinking and action. One must be open minded, able to consider all alternatives, but strong enough to determine one's personal course in life. This requires the right amount of flexibility to be able to examine new ideas or concepts in order to keep the ones which would improve one's life and reject those that would not. In short, one never goes off on deep ends.

from the Laws of Magic

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My personal example of the cause and effects of the Law of Balance can boil down to a simple statement about my bother and his new live in lady love....

Once again, we, his family, find ourselves in the uncanny position of having to choose what to do about his partner as he is seemingly unable to do so. So once again we are all choosing to not spend a family holiday with him.

In this case, it's due to the abysmal way she insists on treating the fadder. She isn't specifically mean to him but she is cruel....in that she refuses to act like he's alive...like he actually lives and breathes. In the vernacular of the Christians she has "sent him to purgatory". This, in spite of the fact that the fadder is currently living in a trailer parked in their yard.

My interpretation of the Law of Balance in this case would be "ye reap what ye sow".

She has continued to hurt someone she hasn't even taken the time to come to know...simply because her fadder had the where with all to disagree with her. So the result of that is our refusal to spend time with her. This in spite of her having thrown her arms around us touting peace, love and forgiveness.

I've tried speaking to the bother to make sure that he understands that this is a choice he is making - but he can't see it. He just puts his head down and bulls through like he has since he was a child. His own particular version of "the ostrich syndrome" ...i.e. if I don't face it...it's not happening. He can't see it any more than he can see that the common denominator in his major relationships is himself and his almost genetic predisposition to above all else "need to make a relationship work". Or any more than he can understand that his girlfriend's information about the fadder came from him...therefore, he's likely the reason she's acting this way and therefore she wins and gets the bother all the herself....as the rest of the family will not stand by.

On an even more visceral level, I find myself stymied by the facade of Christianity in that household. The bother became a Catholic to further his involvement with her. After years and years of the fadder force feeding us his particular need for Christianity. When queried he says that it was about his search for spirituality.

I truly wish that this statement were true. But that whole fake waving Christianity around like a spear goads me. To the outward eye it smacks suspiciously like a man so desperate for love and affection and so completely insecure (behind the facade of an up and coming "in control" business man) that he is willing to put up with "less than" to have a relationship with what he perceives to be a beautiful woman.

Only being able to go on what we've heard and seen, it is my understanding that originally it was all about the spirituality...so much so that they couldn't have sex as they were both married to other people (by her own rules). The bother systematically removed his first wife from his life to further that end. Yet now they live together and the girlfriend is still married to her ex-husband. Seems rather false to me.

I've done extensive reading on the tenants of Christianity and the fadder is an avid Christian which I would thought would have endeared him to the woman. But no, she simply refuses to act in any other interest than her own. From the outward eye it would seem that her particular brand of Catholicism is punitive as opposed to loving. Although I don't suppose she'd agree if you said that to her.

I've always had a problem with people that have to wave something, anything under your nose to make themselves acceptable in what they perceive to be common eyes. Leading with "I'm a biker" or "I'm into BDSM" is no more acceptable to me than people who waive their Christianity in the wind like a banner. It speaks hugely on their inability to think for themselves and their complete lack of balancing themselves both inside and out.